Friday, October 31, 2014

Happy Halloween/Blessed Samhain!

Happy Halloween and a most-blessed Samhain wishes come to you from Mademoiselle Wanna B Gourmande!

Those of you whom are close friends know that I'm no stranger to the occult, but to my readers I just want to let you know a few tiny tidbits about this holiday, and maybe about myself in the process! So here are some tips for enjoying the holiday, because it is meant to be enjoyed.


  • Halloween is, first off, one of the safest nights of the year for trick-or-treaters/children! The number of children being poisoned by candy in the United States is zero. There aren't any records of it. It's just an urban legend!
  • The biggest danger to trick-or-treaters is cars for obvious reasons.
  • Speaking of cars, please do not be that parent/guardian that uses the car to trick-or-treat. You know who I'm talking about; those people that drive in a slow creep down the street, letting their kid get out at each house, then going back into the car immediately to drive to the next one. It's embarrassing for the kid, really bad on your gas, and honestly it's just f#cking stupid. You're taking the fun out of the holiday.
  • There are towns out there with curfews on Trick-or-treaters being out after nightfall. So if you're in one of those towns, protest by going to people's doors at night. And if you're not, be grateful that you're not. 
  • You're not in danger of sex offenders. Seriously. No records have been shown. You're more likely to get harassed for that "sexy nun" costume at the college party than your kid is for dressing up like Wolverine. 
  • You carve jack-o-lanterns tonight and set them out to ward evil away. There are now battery-operated candles that keep going all night, that can fit in those little buggers! They're safer, sure, but tea candles make the pumpkins smell good! 
  • Speaking of jack-o-lanterns, don't throw the guts out! Pumpkin seeds are good eating, or you can just throw the unwashed guts out into your backyard and enjoy a pumpkin patch next year! Seriously, it's way cool, and your kids will love it. Plus, you'll feel good about growing plants and feeding bees, which are dying off. at a scary rate.
  • Halloween is a modernized version of Samhain, which is the time of year which Wiccans/Pagans believe that the veil between the world of the living and the world of the dead is the thinnest. That's why you wear masks, so the evil spirits don't come and mistake you for someone else, and take you back with them. 
  • This is another reason you do the treats: you appease the spirits so they don't come inside and steal you away. Or TP your house. 
  • Some kids have mental illness, cognitive disabilities, or just can't afford costumes; so don't harass a kid that doesn't have a costume. It's everyone's holiday, so don't be a dick. 
  • This is a holiday, in serious tones, to remember the dead and honor your ancestors. To many, this is the Wiccan/Pagan's most sacred holiday. So don't be a dick to people's religious beliefs if you don't agree with them. i.e. don't crash Circles or Rituals; it'd be like if someone came into a Catholic church during mass and just did naked cartwheels down the aisle. It's weird and rude. 
  • Pagans/Wiccans don't believe in Hell. Or the Devil. That's a Christian thing. So calling someone a Devil-worshipper is really more awkward than insulting. 
  • Don't sacrifice black cats. Seriously, it's cruel and just plain fucking stupid. I mean, what do you hope to accomplish? Honestly?
  • Don't take the fun out of the holiday for the kids; drop them off, have a cell phone in their pocket, and pick them up in another hour once they've gone around the neighborhood. And don't do the trunk-or-treat thing. Please. It's embarrassing for me to look at you dragging your poor 10-year-old around a church parking lot in some sad, sick and twisted version of tail-gating. And I'm sure the kid is happy about the candy, but it's not what the holiday is about. 
Follow these tips and enjoy a Happy Halloween/Blessed Samhain!